HNY!!
by Indy Croft
Summary: Champagne, Fireworks, late night, no sleep = no plot and no reviews expected


They ain't mine, none of them. Well, except the manager, the bellhops, and the maids. So don't sue me, please. Anyway, This is just some freaky stuff. I'm still celebrating the New Year in my room with a party of one, and I'm really tired and a little tipsy. So, don't be surprised at the lack of plot, the stupidity of the story, and the complete collection of immensely idiotic (Insert something of interest here.)  
  
Johnny looked around the room as he took another sip of his beer. Music was blaring, people were dancing, men were gambling. Johnny snickered. Liu, Rayden, Jaxx, and Cyrax were all frustrated and broke. cause Sonya kept kicking their asses.  
  
"Full house!" She slapped the cards down on the table, and their was another round of groans. Johnny laughed as Sonya pulled the pile closer to her before falling off the chair. Her eyes caught his as she pulled herself off the floor, and she pointed to the pile with a big smile. He threw her a thumbs up before turning to see what Sindel was doing. She and Kabal were doing the dip in the middle of the hotel room, gathering the attention of everyone else trying to dance. But with Kabal's sword swishing back and forth, it was kinda dangerous to get to close. So all the other guests stayed secluded against the wall.  
  
Johnny looked at his watch. Christ, 10 minutes left! He stood to get everyone's attention, and fell on his face. There was a burst of giggles from under his chair, and he turned to see Mileena clutching her sides. Then he noticed his shoes. The laces were tied together.  
  
"Thanks," he muttered. He kicked off his shoes and got to his feet. He stepped forward and stood on the bed, unaware of the numerous couples that passed out from the noxious gas released from his socks. Johnny stepped carefully over Kung Lao and Jade, who seemed to have no problem getting it on in a room filled with people, but his tipsy vision made him step in Lao's head, which got pressed deep into the valley of the lost between Jade's-  
  
"Shit!" Johnny toppled, somersaulted, and landed right in Kurtis Stryker's lap. Which, needless to say, interrupted the lap dance he was getting from Jennifer Lopez. She fell on the floor, and puffed with anger at Johnny.  
  
"Yeah, that's good stuff, baby." Johnny stared at the madly drunken riot control leader. "Oh, don't stop."  
  
"You perv!" Johnny slapped him, making everyone look up. Sonya began to whoop and cheer, and Rayden laughed wildly.  
  
"Hey! What the hell are you doing!" Kurtis roughly pushed Johnny off. "Damn it, I don't walk that way!"  
  
"You'd be surprised what you do when you're drunk," Kitana giggled from the bathroom. Johnny peeked in. to find her surrounded by candles with Martha Stuart playing Ouija. His eyebrow arched.  
  
"Hey, you!" Johnny called. "Yeah, the blonde. Your bathroom towel set bites! Your sunflower yellow and corn wall blue are off by at least three shades!" Johnny's feet were yanked, and he was suddenly dragged across the floor.  
  
"Ack! I'm getting rug burn!" Then Sonya was sitting on his waist.  
  
"Hey, handsome." She leaned down and began nibbling on his ear. Johnny began laughing.  
  
"Hey, that tickles!"  
  
"You spineless cheat! How long have you been playing us?!" Suddenly Sonya's lips were torn from his as Cyrax yanked on her hair, causing a few extra aces to come out of her sleves. Then they were in a fight. That went all over the room. Soon everyone was socking each other, except for Liu, who was busy seducing Kitana on the dresser. Rayden was also sitting on a cloud on the ceiling, just watching everyone kill each other as he downed his fourth martini.  
  
"Hey, you can't fight in here! You tear up this room, you destroy it!" Everyone stopped and stared at the short manager who somehow got past the passed out Jaxx draped next to the door.  
  
All at once, they yelled at him. "NO SHIT!" Then they began fighting again. The manager continued to whine and pull at his hair, his voice rasing an octave with each passing minute.  
  
"No, not the drapes! I got them from the '96 Ikea collection!" the manager screamed as Mileena climbed to the top and pounced Sheeva.  
  
Then, the door burst off it's hinges as the windows shattered when bodies came flying into the room. Suddenly, everyone was surrounded by bellboys clad in parachutes and M-16's. Some tossed nunchucks around their shoulders and stomachs, as others ripped off their shirts and fell into karate stances.  
  
"Oh, this is getting fucked up," Johnny muttered to himself, trying to pull himself into a nearby chair. He reached for his beer, knocked it over, and took Sub-Zero's instead. Leaning back, he just chilled and watched the wild wrestling match that tore apart the beds and dressers. Mirrors shattered, and wood splintered. Then there was a very loud creaking. and multiple screams.  
  
"Oh shit!" The floor creaked again, and collapsed. When everyone got back to their feet, the lights came up in the now newly wrecked room. Standing in the doorway were three very LARGE women, dressed in French maid outfits, posed like Charlie's Angels, with clubs and cattle prods in hands.  
  
"Who the hell are they?" Scorpion muttered.  
  
"ROOM SERVICE!" With wild monkey in heat like screams, they jumped into the brawl. Poor Shao Khan was pinned underneath one.. woman, if you could call her that, while the second was poking at Motaro with a cattle prod, and the third was trying to shove a complimentary Marriot mint down Shang Tsung's throat.  
  
"EAT IT! EAT THE MINT!"  
  
"NO, I DON'T WANT THE MINT!"  
  
"Hey, one minute left!" Dick Clark's voice carried over the screaming and slapping. Everyone stopped and looked at the TV hanging from the cable on the upper floor.  
  
"Aw, damn!" Everyone suddenly stood and raced for champagne glasses, which was quite a site. I mean, watching over 30 people, and that's including large robots, a woman with four arms, and a half man-half horse, trying to get up and scramble for the few wine glasses stashed in the cabinet next to the bathroom in a small hotel room with a second hotel room having crashed upon it earlier, is quite a site.  
  
"25 seconds!"  
  
"Somebody get the freaking champagne!"  
  
"Where's the champagne?!"  
  
"In the fridge!"  
  
"Where's the fridge?!"  
  
"10, 9, 8, 7." Everyone suddenly stopped screaming and began counting down as they watched the ball drop in Times Square.  
  
".3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone in the room began screaming wildly, toasting glasses of champagne, passing kisses and hugs, and then joining together to sing Auld Lang Sine. which was interesting cause half of them were dead drunk, while others didn't know the lyrics. So it sounded more like All Let's Screw.  
  
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Rayden began shouting as he jumped around wildly, and then set off a firework. In the hotel room. It burst and sparks fell on everyone.  
  
"Damn it, Rayden!"  
  
"You moron!"  
  
"My dress!"  
  
"My hair!"  
  
"My toupee!" Rayden looked at Kurtis, blinked, then sent a strong gust of wind at him. His mop of hair flew off his head and circles around the room.  
  
"It's a flying toupee!" Half the room collapsed as everyone began laughing hysterically. Rayden set off another firework, and the walls began to flicker.  
  
"Hey, I didn't know walls could glow red!" Sonya laughed. Everyone paused, looked at the glowing walls, then fell over laughing again. It wasn't until the smoke began making everyone cry that they decided to abandon the room. Johnny stumbled upstairs to his room and collapsed on his bed.  
  
A knock on his door, and suddenly Sonya collapsed onto his floor.  
  
"HI Johnny." She managed to crawl over to the bed, and they started making out. Then Jaxx came in. Followed by Tsung, who was carrying a room service lady on his back, still trying to stuff that mint down his throat. Then Sub-zero, and Scorpion, and Rayden, carrying Heinekin. Shit. Then the rest of the hotel was in Johnny's room. All because of the Heinekin. Shit.  
  
Johnny looked over Sonya's shoulder to see ten other couples making out on his bed, and Kitana dancing on the desk. nude. Liu and the other gentlemen had no complaints.  
  
"I'm coming up, so you better get this party started!" Kitana bellowed. Sindel jumped up and bumped her out the window before taking on the vocals. Given, she did have a pretty voice, but when she tried to sing notes like Celin Dion's My Heart Will Go On, her Sonic Dizzy knocked everyone to the floor. as well as the wall of Johnny's room, and the one after that, and the next after that, all the way until the building collapsed half way.  
  
But everyone continued to party, getting high and drunk and dancing and gambling and mumbling until dawn, when everyone began to clear out. Suddenly, Johnny was overwhelmed with an urge to sing. As he and the crew walked down the halls, he began to blow the notes from his throat like a (Insert something creative here, I think I'm too drunk. or too tired. Well, it is 3:30 AM.)  
  
"Show me the way to go home! I'm tired and I want to go to bed! I had a drink or 300 hundred about an hour ago, and it went straight to my head!" As he continued to sing, everyone joined in, and before leaving the hotel courtyard, they all paused to watch Kitana dance to Johnny's very off key notes in the public fountain. still nude.  
  
"Do you want this party to end?!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Then let's keep it going!" Kitana shouted joyously. "Everyone to Johnny's house!" Johnny's face dropped.  
  
"But I was going to go to bed!" No one heard him, though, and he just decided to pass out on the steps in front of the Marriot.  
  
The friggin' eng. IO ,eam eml/  
  
Wait, I mean end. What the hell was that? Oh, my God, I'm talking to myself. on a computer. That's it, no more shampagne for me. Hee hee hee. Shampagne. I like that.  
  
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! LET'S HEAR IT FOR 2002! SENIORS RULE!  
  
All right, I'm going to bed now. Damn, where's my bed. Shit, why's there three of them? Now why the hell are they floating around in circles?! Well, any of them will do. :::walks over and collapses on one. and falls right through it face first on the floor:::: Damn. Well, the floor is good too. :::Snore::: 


End file.
